Single, 25 year-old fully domesticated Asian-American female living in Bolivia seeks single male with no kids, no wife, and no girlfriend. She cooks, cleans, sweeps and mops, gardens, fixes toilets, unclogs sinks, and washes clothes by hand. Enjoys long walks though Incan ruins, chocolates, flowers, and contemplating life within the security of her mosquito net.
Surely met with delight from my parents and shock from my friends, I must take the time to make a special announcement: I am ready to get married.
Now before any of you gets all worked up in a tizzy, let me clarify that I am not making a wedding announcement. I have not fallen in love with any Bolivian. I have not met the man of my dreams and begun to think of having little Tammies running around. All I’m saying is that I’ve been thinking, and I’m thinking that I would like to have a companion in life. Someone to accompany me on all my crazy little adventures, someone to talk to, someone to be my partner in crime. Unfortunately my little sis outgrew the role.
Anyways, I used to think that I wanted to be unattached so no one could hold me back from doing all the things I wanted to do. Including Procter & Gamble, including Peace Corps, including all the times that I just up and leave what I’m doing to go try something new. Now I’m thinking that not only would I not be held back, but the experiences I have would actually be enriched by having someone along with me.
The Peace Corps married couples have it great. They’ve got a built in support system coming along for the ride. They have someone to complain to when the foreign customs become too much, when the frustrations continue to rise, and when they just want to speak their native language for a minute.
On a related note, I am finding out just how much I love my family. It’s not that I didn’t know that before, but now I just realize they are super cool. If you haven’t had the privledge of meeting them, it’s a shame. I love spending time with them. I love talking to them. My dad used to joke that where ever he retired, he wanted the kids living close by. I always thought my job would drive my decisions regarding where to live as it has in the past, but now the question of job before family or family before job is easily answered. If my parents retire and go live in Texas, I will be living somewhere close by whenever it is that I actually decide to grow roots. I will also visit more often. As put by one of my siblings, “I didn’t know how much I liked our family until I was far away from them.” He is still in the US. He still has Target and Chipotle and Starbucks and Taco Bell. Me, I have a market with dusty sardine cans. That may seem like it has nothing to do with how much I miss the fam, but it does. It’s a strange building-up of one thing on top of another and the climax of it all looks a little something like, “I MISS MY MOMMYYYYYY!!!”
I certainly miss my friends too. You notice these things when you make new friends. Like the Brownie Girlscouts song… “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” Haha… funny the things you remember from childhood. Right now my best friends are spread over the continents… Asia, Africa, North America, South America…we may not talk as much as we’d like, but you better believe that when we get that reunion in a few years, it will be wiLd!!
At any rate, after all this strange contemplation, I’ve decided that I am not as repulsed by the idea of marriage as I once was. Now that I’ve come to terms with the idea, I just need to go find Mr. Man.
I guess that this might be a sign that I’ve chilled out and relaxed enough that I might actually let go of the reins and not want total freedom in my life. It’s great to be able to do what you want but after awhile you realize that you want to have someone to share the good and the bad. I guess it’s a sign that I realize that life is better with loved ones at my side.
Many times I’ve been told that I am too independent. Ambitious. Intense. Intimidating. Well, welcome to the softer side of Tammy. If you poke her, does she not bleed!?!? If a mosquito bites her, does she not itch?!?
Ok, Peace Corps has officially turned me crazy. Just let me say, to the people out there who I love, that you are in my heart, each and every day of these 810 days I am in Bolivia. But who’s counting??
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2 comments:
I have had the same realization about the fam. Mine happened when I spent 1.5 years away from them on my very own US govie tour. I have also made a promise to myself that whereever they are I will be close too. That joke your dad used to tell was cultural brain washing so that in times like these you will recall and obey. haha. My mom told me stories about families in vietnam where bad things would happen if their sons and daughters would grow up and abandon their parents. lol
miss ya! Gotta coordinate the trip to Bolivia soon.
i miss you desperately!!! paul does too! haha. anyway, come back soon!!!!
^_^
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