I love Bolivia and Bolivia loves me! Cool Runnings!!!!!!!

There are good days and there are bad days, but overall I think Bolivia and I have finally come to terms with each other. What a relief.

When I first got to Bolivia I used to have this recurring dream. It was in the US before I had received my invitation to serve in Peace Corps. I would be dreaming about shopping at Target or eating out with friends and contemplating the perfect Peace Corps country when suddenly I would wake up and find myself inside my mosquito net. I’d have that moment where you feel lost and have no idea where you are, and then I’d realize that I had actually already started service and I was in Bolivia. I’d get panicky and feel really claustrophobic. When I remembered these dreams during waking hours the same thing would happen and I wanted to be home again so badly, even if for just five minutes.

The dreams happened a lot during training and then more sporadically once I got in site. Then I dreamed the same thing after May 4th passed and we didn’t go home, despite all the dire predictions of how the country would fall apart and that we’d be evacuated. The idea that I would get to be back in the States had been planted in my subconscious and then it didn’t happen. I don’t know exactly if I was disappointed or relieved, but the following week was one of the worst in-country. I missed my family, I missed my friends, and all the little things about Bolivia that used to only annoy me I began to loathe.

I would sit in my room and go from laughing out loud to myself to bursting into tears. By myself. I talked to myself. I sang to myself. I tried to think of happy times, and then that would only depress me more. I began to plan a vacation back to the States even though I had never thought I would return during the two years. Needless to say, I was a little worried about my mental health and sanity.

Fortunately I had friends to distract me during the days. The nights were a little long, and they still can be. But last week I had a major breakthrough. I had the dream again. I was in the U.S. and this time I was riding in the car with a friend. We were driving on the highway. In the last 10 months I think I have hit 40 mph in a vehicle one time, and that was terrifyingly fast. In my dream we were flying at 70 mph and I was certain we were going to crash. Before it could happen though, I woke up with a start. Heart pounding, trying to figure out what was going on, I woke up and opened my eyes and saw that awful green mosquito net.

But this time all I could think was, “THANK GOD I AM IN BOLIVIA!!!”